With Womad once again upon us, Reading residents are being warned to keep their doors and windows shut as MPs and Councillors roam the streets of Reading suffering withdrawal symptoms from the lack of freebies.

A concerned resident told us: "It's so sad to see them aimlessly shuffling around Rivermead on Womad festival weekend. Labour Party activists wondering where to put their stalls, Anneliese Dodds desperately trying to find an ethnic minority event to be photographed at, Tories with boxes of unsold 'Hang Nelson Mandela' tee-shirts and Liberal Democrats wandering around pretending to like Toumani Diabaté and Seun Kuti & Egypt 80. The council should do something about it and start up a rival festival so that they can once more be doled out 20 free VIP tickets each and shout 'don't you know who I am?' at frazzled staff."